Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE) was begun in 1925 as a form of theological education that takes place not exclusively in academic classrooms, but also in clinical settings where ministry is being practiced. CPE is offered in many kinds of settings: in hospitals and health care including university, children’s, and veterans’ facilities; in hospices; in psychiatric and community care facilities; in workplace settings; in geriatric and rehabilitation centers; and in congregational and parish-based settings. The textbooks for CPE include in-depth study of “the living human documents.” By “living human documents,” we mean both the people who receive care as well as a study of ourselves, the givers of care. Through the practice of ministry and the reflection thereon with supervisor and peers, the experiential learning that is CPE takes place.
from acpe.edu
This was the ordination requirement that I dreaded the most. Like a little kid with a tantrum struggling to squirm of the arms of its parent, I did my very best to get out of this one. And for lots of good reasons. To name a few: Pastoral care is one of my natural strengths, not all presbyteries require their candidates to go through it so technically it’s not required to be an ordained Presbyterian pastor, and it required me to work inflexible full-time hours during my kids’ summer vacation.
But the presbytery was compassionately unrelenting, and by what seemed to be divine intervention lending them a hand, I was offered a full-time paid CPE residency 10 minutes from my house for the summer.
Yesterday was my last day and I gratefully sit in a coffee shop at 9:00 am on a Wednesday morning with no pager attached to me, unshowered, no makeup, and in jeans after dropping my kids off to school. Tomorrow we begin the long-awaited family vacation – just 3 days backpacking, but I am desperate for the rest and uninterrupted family time.
But, before it wears off, I want to share a bit about the experience because it was truly life-changing.
My job every day was to go to 3 different units of the hospital and see as many patients as I could. I would take referrals from nurses to make sure to see the patients who really needed to see a chaplain and then after seeing those, I would walk into other patients’ rooms and introduce myself and see if they needed anyone to talk to or pray with.
As you can imagine, I saw all sorts of people and in the end, I think that is the beauty of CPE. You don’t get to choose who you work with or minister to – you have to deal with whatever waits for you in that hospital room. I witnessed some of the most beautiful and tragic situations in life. It was like some form of boot camp for pastors – relentless training out of your comfort zone. You emerge with a new toughness that allows you to walk into pretty scary situations with a clear head and a confidence that you can only offer what you have and trust that the Spirit will do her work through and despite you.
I gained a new respect for all health care professionals, particularly nurses. Really, they are incredible. I watched nurses who were going through heartbreaking personal pain reach out and care for the most difficult patients. It seemed the lines that connect us all were sometimes visible in the floors of that hospital. I understand for the first time what it is to have a job in which you witness daily trauma and then go back to your “normal” life. It’s not easy and so many people do it all the time with hardly a thought.
I worked with an incredible group of residents who had been doing this since September and with a fantastic supervisor. They all mentored me, welcomed me into the hospital with open arms and became cherished friends. We met most afternoons to learn or process together. This community nurtured me and made the summer much smoother than I had anticipated.
Did I need CPE? Not necessarily.
Was it as hard as I imagined? Harder.
Am I glad I did it? Most definitely.
